Life on the Other Side

morning walk

2010-12-03T22:10:00.003+05:00

This morning Sam and I took a walk through the neigborhood. I decided to try to make it a time to talk to people. At the bakery I checked in with the worker whose fiance was in a horrible car accident. He let me know she will be flown out of the country for treatment. He seemed deeply thankful that I stopped by to ask and then offered sam and me breakfast. While walking on, I met a lady that I see occasionally and have no idea who she is. She always asks me for something and today she wanted me to employ her and then wanted Sam's old clothes. Next I ran into three lady street sweepers. They sit on the side of road mid morning for a chat break. They are always fun to talk to and we had a few good laughs. Next I saw some women sitting outside of a house. They used to work at this house and apparently the woman there promised money if they came back after 10 days. So they sat there waiting. They asked me for money and my old clothes. Then I walked by the charity hospital and talked to all sorts of women. One had a son and her husband in jail and was asking if I had any work for them since they were going into debt with the loss of income.

I could have told of each meeting in different posts. Each conversation was full of people's lives. But the same may happen tomorrow. Its amazing to be a part of life here.

The sites

2010-12-01T17:33:00.002+05:00

Walking home from the store today I began to point out to Sam all the interesting things we get to see along the way. People, few bits of nature (e.g. a tree or two), richshaws, whole families on a motorcycle. I saw a pile of cloth on the side of the road and thought even that was interesting. But then I saw a hand in the pile. I was momentarily disturbed until I saw the man's head. The pile was actually a toothpick of a man curled up sleeping.

start of Thanksgiving prep

2010-11-25T11:29:00.000+05:00

Insightful article

2010-11-20T14:44:00.003+05:00

Violence explained by the NY Times

no good homeschools in town

2010-11-20T11:04:00.003+05:00

I have already been asked where I am sending Sam to school. "School?", I say, "he's only 15 months." Kids get sent to "school" so early here. Its probably what we would call a day care, but they get sent for half day in uniform and backpack on.

I said that I will probably homeschool Sam at least for a little while to my neighbor recently. She said, "oh there are no good homeschools around here."

I chose to let that one sit before I went into a very unheard of concept.

Fall

2010-11-20T10:46:00.003+05:00

Sam fell. Little scrape under the mouth, but cut on the inside.

Not necessarily a big deal

1. But you wouldn't believe the amount of attention he received and questions I was asked. So many neighbors asked how such a scrape could have happened! Amongst my neighbors I am one of the VERY few that does not have "maid" taking care of their little children. Mostly these maids are 7-10 year old boys or girls who are poor and often from a village. They live with these families. The maids give such close 1:1 attention that such a fall would be very unlikely to happen. And if it did, I am sure there would be [bad implications] for the maid.

I view that scrape as a necessary part of growing up, and even necessary for me as a mom, to see him get a little hurt. (not that I encouraged it, just know it will happen)

2. It happened though while we were at the park playing with the kids that live in the park. These kids live on another spectrum. They are running wild in the park all day long with minimal close supervision. 3 year olds dragging their 9 month old sibling around to play. Well, I let Sam go off and play with the crowd for a short bit while I talked to some of the older kids. I was happy to have him be included. Until I saw him running to me with blood coming from his mouth. Joe and I agreed in this context we must be counter-cultural and keep a closer eye on Sam. (Often, in certain places I am being strongly encouraged to allow others to hold or watch Sam. Next thing I know he has been taken to the next house or down the street).

Money

2010-11-19T15:56:00.003+05:00

A friend stopped by today and asked for $120. Asking for a loan, but you are never quite sure. This sort of request is frequent. Sure you get the constant beggars on the street asking for a couple of cents. But you also get the acquaintances and friends asking for 1, 2, 3 hundred dollars. First its a culture of asking. Doesn't hurt to ask. And it is a poor country of course. Some good, honest hard working people cannot earn what they need at times. They don't go to bank, but to each other, or to us. The needs are sicknesses, weddings, house repairs, death, etc. Joe and I do have a policy to talk and pray together before we give. We usually don't give immediately. You learn too that when people need $2 they will ask for $5. Thus, we don't feel we need to give the full amount. Sometimes we say yes, and sometimes we say some, and sometimes no. Back home where we don't ask, we also aren't used to being asked. Its not easy to say no to a friend, especially if you feel like you must do it out of principle.

first camel ride

2010-11-18T14:47:00.000+05:00

Life as they know it

2010-11-12T12:53:00.003+05:00

I've had to take a few weeks off because life has been so busy around here. Lots of visitors and guests.

And I debated writing about this, but thought I would put it out there anyway. Hopefully it won't stir fear in concerned family members.

It was 8:20 pm last night, Sam was sleeping, and Joe and I were having our reading and relaxing time together. Then we heard a huge blast. Maybe felt it. Its hard to tell the difference. We looked at each other knowing/fearing what that was. The electricity was out per usual so no TV. Internet was working, but nothing was coming through. I went to the front window to see if people were running to their homes or any chaos was happening. No, perfectly normal. Kids were playing with their Eid animals and the workers were hanging out talking. Joe went out and asked one of them what they thought happened. He indifferently said, "terrorism or explosion". A few minutes later, he came back and said the a police station by the Sheraton was blown up. Joe asked if it was big. He said, "oooooooh yeah". Apparently it read 1.4 on the Richter scale. It happened about 3.5 miles away from us.

You never know the aftershocks of such events (i.e. rioting, city shutting down, etc) so I sent Joe out for some provisions (bread, milk, butter) for the coming days. Joe asked the people there what they thought would happen. Nothing, because it was the government that was attacked. Meaning nobody really cares about the government.

Sure enough, the next day, today, its as if nothing happened. We've all gone about our business.

Prov. 16:4

Parent's Goals

2010-10-28T15:31:00.002+05:00

"What parents want even influences the very ways they label children". Meredith Small

She gives examples of this from a study about how different cultures view intelligent children.
In America= aggressive and competitive
Holland= persistent, strong-willed, and demonstrates a clarity of purpose
Kipsigis Africans=the responsible one who does his or her chores

I asked a local lady here what an intelligent child here meant. She said, "he doesn't take things from other people". Essentially she said it is the one who shares what he has. I found this quite interesting in light of how important the family community is here.

chillin

2010-10-27T22:58:00.002+05:00

BABIES

2010-10-27T22:39:00.003+05:00

I finally got my hands on the documentary BABIES!

I'll admit I was initially disappointed because "documentary" to me means "commentary chalked full of information". Outside of the babys' cooing, there is almost no audio. Nonetheless I began to appreciate it for what it is and really enjoyed all the cute shots of the babies.

Oh, it is about 4 babies from 4 cultures (Namibia, Japan, Mongolia, and U.S.). I suppose the lack of narration is for the purpose of allowing the viewer to come to their own conclusions. One review described it as "militant ambiguity". Of course as I watched it, I thought the title could have been "Mothering" as what we are watching is how these kids are being mothered differently.

I love the babies. I love the scenery. I love the quick glimpse into other cultures. But as I watch I can't help but be a bit skeptical as to how much of it is staged. And obviously you really can't come to any conclusions (if that is what they want you to do) based on one child.

All that said, I would recommend it. Anyone else watched it?

Our Babies, Ourselves: Parental Goals

2010-10-22T16:46:00.003+05:00

My 2 books intersected today talking about parental goals. Tedd Tripp says, "Parents must be goal-directed." Meredith Small says, parents "are active participants in bringing up a particular kind of adult."

"American Culture as a whole clearly fosters independence" as a major goal.

People here gasp and are horrified at the thought of our babies sleeping in their own bed and in their own room. Parents would never expect their child to move out of their house on their own and earn their own living. And men never do leave their families. They get married and the wife comes and lives with the fam.

A local guy lived with us for a short while. Very stressful. Mainly because some of these cultural differences came up. He didn't know how to be by himself. I suggested reading a book. He looked blankly back at me. I said, "take a walk around the neighborhood". He replied it would be boring by himself. This was the first time he lived away from his family at 24 years old. This was the first time he was expected to take care of himself and be by himself, even just for an evening. His parents had never pushed him away to have him get some of his social and emotional needs met elsewhere. Now he was looking to us.

I confess we bought him a TV as a surrogate family.

Our Babies, Ourselves: Culture and Personality

2010-10-21T14:31:00.004+05:00

I recently read a biography about Abraham Lincoln. It told how he would only read for an hour or two, no longer, because he wanted to think about what he read.

Well, I don't have the luxury for an hour or two(!!), but I am trying to real short chunks of a book or two and then give time to think about them.

So I re-read a short section of this book carrying on about how cultures shape personality. She goes on to write that it is a very Western concept that how parents raise their children effects their child's personality, even adult personality.

I have to explore this idea here locally. How Muslims view this.

I don't know if this "Western concept" is reflective of an evolutionary worldview. As I raise Sam, I believe that God "created his inmost being, He knit him together in my womb" (Psalm 139). I believe my parenting effects his behavior and response to life, but not shapes his personality. She does write more about this in a section or two which I found quite fascinating . . .

Shopping Fun

2010-10-20T18:23:00.002+05:00

I found carpet shopping works well with children. Lots to play and climb on!

travelling

2010-10-15T14:11:00.002+05:00

Right now we are on the road. Joe is busy in meetings. Sam and I went to the zoo and then did a day of shopping with another friend. At the zoo Sam was at the fence when a bathing elephant came and stuck his snout in Sam's face. The zookeeper had told the elephant to shake hands with Sam. Sam screamed in horror. On the shopping day Sam enjoyed the carpet shopping where he could climb on piles of carpets and rugs. The shopkeepers there were very accomodating versus the ones at the bookshop.

where's the box

2010-10-14T09:11:00.003+05:00

"I don't want to be put in a box." Do you know how many times I have heard that? People say this about their theology, methodology (about anything), personality, etc.

Well, parenting has made me realize something about myself. Boxes don't scare me or bother me. Actually I prefer them. As I became a mother I have sought to understand all the different styles. I read and talk to anyone I can. I see there are different camps on parenting. Recently I realized that I still find myself wandering about what I think and I long to place myself in a specific place. Thus I will know the code to follow. If I am attachment I do this, this and that. I am not desiring to, as others have told me, "try to figure it out on my own". Nor do I know what to do with "just follow your mother's instinct".

Well, as a TCM I am in the perfect place, except for the fact that I don't necessarily agree with the box that exists here. The mothers here don't have a choice often in how they raise their children. They are told by their mother in laws and mothers and aunties and grandmothers and elders how to do so. When I have challenged something I see, they give a head wobble and semi shrug indicating that they don't have a choice. Its just the way it is done. One friend commented on what she saw. "You people learn [to parent] from books, we do it as we always have."

This sort of mentality lends itself to all sorts of good and bad. Trying to invoke change is another story. But people are not waffling around trying to figure out what to do.

Our Babies, Ourselves I

2010-10-11T14:49:00.004+05:00

The Anthropology of Parenting.

"[Some researchers] believed that any social and political structure molds parents, and that parents in turn shape children to fit into a society by promoting culture-specific patterns of personality. Even the more elaborate displays of culture, such as ceremonies, rituals, and the arts, presumably can be traced back to individual motivation, parenting-styles, and the underlying culture framework." p48

Let me spell that out a little bit. How much am i allowed to quote in this blog? I wouldn't want people to feel they are reading a book through me.

Anyway, "For example, anthropologists have used subsistence patterns-that is, the ways people obtain food-- to explain features of personality. The stretch from food to personality might seem like a long one, but if people are in any sense molded by their culture, then there should be links from how we go about surviving at the most fundamental level to who we are at the most esoteric level". p49

hunter/gatherer ->intiative and persistence =>those parents foster self-reliance
pastoralist parents foster responsibility

She goes on to write about communities in transition, "parents do shift to a pattern of care that fosters different values required for the new lifestyle".

For the most part, those in the West have an option as to how they will obtain food. I mean how they will earn money to obtain food. In my background we were given the option to decide a profession. I was allowed to think through what I like to do and how I wanted to spend my future. And I was given 21 years to come to place where I could then be independent. With food readily available and even jobs plentiful at the time, I think what was fostered in me was to look for personal fulfillment and happiness. Now with the U.S. economy changing, maybe we will see parenting styles reflecting that a bit too.

I realized another aspect of obtaining food is how often you go and get food. In some ways, back in the West it seems like we live on a weekly basis. Grocery shopping on Saturday. Clean the sheets on Monday. Vacuum on Wednesdays. Etc. (For those of you honestly admitting you live more on a monthly basis, yeah, me too!) But here most things are on a daily basis. There is so much dust and dirt you have to clean everyday. Most food shop everyday. Back West I remember making the grocery run for the week. Here you can't stock up. Its too hot, too many creepy-crawlies, too little preservatives, and too inconsistent of electricity. And for the locals, it can be too little money. They shop for each meal. How does this reality effect/shape one's personality?

A HUGE difference between here and there is living in joint families. In these families where there are 20 people, you can have a nice division of labor. Some work and bring home the money, some go to the bazaar and get the food, some watch the kids, some cook. It creates a real dependence on each other. On the other hand, I have been taught to be independent and manage on my own (with Joe).

How to Lead Meetings That People Want to Attend

2010-10-10T20:06:00.000+05:00

How to Lead Meetings That People Want to Attend

Publish Post

up and running

2010-10-10T16:43:00.004+05:00

Thought I would attempt yet again to get this thing up and running.

We are back overseas. Everything seemed so familiar when we came back, but in so many ways we are starting afresh. My days are filled with Sam of course, and besides that I have been doing plenty of reading and just living here is somewhat a task in and of itself. Anyway, thought I would record my thoughts here.

As many of you know to some degree or another, I am interested in ethnopediatrics or even medical anthropology. The term ethnopediatrics I came across this summer as I was looking at resources to understand parenting in different cultures. Before I left here in the spring, my first 8 months with Sam, I was so stressed trying to "learn" how to be a mom, but then on top of it doing TCM-- Third Culture Mothering. Being an American but parenting in a different culture-- thus a third culture is formed. We have heard these children (kids who grow up in a different culture) may be the leaders of the future (like Obama, although I know there is debate about that). But what about the mothering in these contexts?

Anyway, I picked up a couple of books by Meredith Small. Who sounds like has been an influential founder or proponent of ethnopediatrics. The book I am reading right now is Our Babies, Ourselves: How biology and Culture Shape the Way we Parent. The first chapter is The Evolution of Babies. I found it quite interesting especially since I am not one to study and read things that are in direct opposition to what I believe. I confess. But I was intrigued by some of the basic beliefs about evolution. (Oh yeah, that belief is totally foreign here so it is not like it comes up in conversation. The gals I know probably have never even heard of it). The second chapter is The Anthropology of Parenting. Fascinating. I will share tidbits from it as I read. Already it is giving me a better understanding of the way "we" parent and the way "they" parent.

I am also reading Sheperding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. A Biblical Approach to Parenting. When I was home I asked lots of friends what their favorite book on parenting is. This was the only book mentioned. I am hosting a discussion of this book with fellow foreigners in November. Maybe some thoughts from that will be weaved into my ethnopediatric thoughts.

Relaxing

2010-06-21T23:39:00.002+05:00

P6010040.JPG

Catch up

2010-02-08T17:40:00.002+05:00

I am not going to make any apologies or make any promises with this
blog. Its been a long time, and who knows how long before the next
one will come. Of course, it has been a resolution a few times to
get my blog up and running again, but I just haven't made the time.
Nothing like to today which is a semi-strike day as well as a rainy
day as well as the tail end of a sick child day. So I am at home
with so many little things to do I just don't know where to begin.

Since the last entry SO much has happened. . . so many missed opps
for blog entries. Days and days of unbearable heat. 24 hours or so
with no electricity . . . during the unbearable heat. A huge
rainstorm . . . which lead to no electricity . . . which meant no
running water . . . which meant a lot of other things. The country
has had lots of problems. But here in the city we have had 2 bomb
blasts. Dec 28th and Feb 5th. The latter one we actual felt while
sitting in our house. Following the blasts, but also for many other
reasons on other days strike days have been called. I recently
looked up the word for strike in the dictionary to make sure I knew
the correct meaning. Hartal means "a closure of all shops in a
market as a protest against oppression or other causes; sulphurate of
arsenic". It is taken to the next level here with the entire city
being closed, i.e. shops, buses, schools, etc. etc. These are quiet
days. And you learn to keep staples in your house. Rice, lentils,
tomatoes, onions, and spices. And movies. The president has
remained the same since my last entry, but those days may be limited.

On a personal level I have had a baby. Been LOVING him. Adjusting
to the new role. Experimenting with all sort of parenting styles. I
can say now, 1 day after his 6 month birthday, it has been a
wonderful, but OVERwhelming experience. Especially it being in a
different culture. I think mothering has been the area that I have
most clashed with the culture. I have never had so many random
strangers in my face telling me what to do. I am learning when to
grin and bear it, when to get on a soap box and share my differing
opinion, and when to listen. Sam has has 1 cold, is now finishing up
chicken pox, seems to like peas and carrots, and is running about the
40th% for growth. We had visitors with us for Sam's birth. My
sister for a month and Joe's parents for 2 weeks. Great to see
family again. AND I have had another birthday myself. I've realized
that I like to make the font on my computer screen really large. Its
so much more pleasant for the eyes. I have also hit my 2 year
anniversary of being here. I came on Feb 6 of '08 and have not left
since.

I took about 2 months off of the studies but then got right back to
the Urdu. My teacher and I have begun reading the newspaper together
which has been lots of fun. We mainly read the headlines of the Jang,
Daily Express, or Ummat and then discuss. My other teacher and I are
doing some reading from the Bible and a first grader's Islamiat
reader. I have been studying with so much "shauq" (Urdu for with
"eagerness") as I like to say, that I haven't had lots of time for
other things. For a few weeks I started a quilt, but had to put that
aside for now. I've enjoyed some good podcasts. Of course, This
American Life. The First Austrailians. 60 minutes. New Moms, New
Babies. Series on The Prodigal God. Joe and I have watched a few
movies we really liked. At least one of us. Up in the Air. Julie
and Julia.

Julie and Julia of course inspired me on 2 fronts. The blogging
front. Thus this post. And the cooking front. I could not make a
daily vow. But I made a vow to try to make something new each week.
White Chicken Qorma. Chicken Karahi. Lahori Chicken Choley. Taco
Qeema. And then Joe asked me to stop making meat-in-a-sauce dishes.
So I moved on to Morroccan chicken. Mini pizzas. Philly soft
pretzls. (failed attempt). With some local friends I learned to
make Chicken biryani.

I was able to finish a few good books before Sam. The Prodigal God.
Seeds of Change. Assassination Vacation. And after Sam I have
started a few good books (meaning never finished). Love Walked Among
Us. The Diary of a Social Butterfly. A Chance to Die. 5th or 6th
attempt to start that one.

And of course still hangin with the locals. Not as much as I would
like. Occasionally get to partake in "house-hopping"-- Going from
house to house to house of people who are all relatives for a visit.
Often it can start with a "lets go visit my auntie's house", then to
the next auntie's and the next one and so on and so forth. My max number for one evening was 7. And for those who know this culture, know that that also means 7 cups of chai and some pepsi and all sorts of fried goodies.

Also, visited some old sites. Thatta. And some famous sites.
Faisal Mosque

Well that is the summary. We are on the homestretch now . . . only 7
more weeks til we head out . . .

timings

2009-07-07T23:21:00.002+06:00

Its been a good 3 or 4 months since the government told us to set our clocks an hour ahead. They randomly declare day light savings time certain years. But people also randomly chose to follow it. So now when we set up appointments, the cursory second questions is always, "is that old time or new time?" We work on new time which works in our favor because we tend to be an hour early for things when we aren't sure what people are working on.

Another timing matter . . . it is now 11:20 pm and the cable man just came by to collect his payment. This is not so unusual for him to come this late. Joe has asked him about this, and he said it is just the way it is.

We are never quite sure where we are going

2009-05-15T22:21:00.002+06:00

We thought we were going to a "meeting" about some development projects, but ended up being the honored guests at an end of the school year celebration. In addition to handing out awards to children, they handed me the microphone while on stage and said, "Give a speech to the children". So I threw together some simple sentences and tried to offer an inspirational message.

Gift of a Hotel Stay

2009-05-05T12:13:00.002+06:00

For a couple of nights last week, we were given a hotel stay at very posh place here in town by our wonderful support team. It was delightful. We had anticipated taking a break before the baby came, during one of the hottest months here, after our language teacher left, and after a year of being in country. But visa problems and then in country problems have limited us from travelling outside the city for now. But we were truly able to escape for a few days, and all right here!

For me the 24/7 air conditioning, the flat screen TV, the swimming pool, and the breakfast buffet were nice treats. Also, gettting to wear a t-shirt for the first time in a year in public felt very freeing and familiar. (I have never realized how much I love casual American clothes.) We were also able to leave behind the work and studies and relax.

Andrew's story by Joe

2009-04-01T07:25:00.007+05:00

There are an overwhelming amount of sad stories on this side of the world. More often than not, injustice triumphs over justice, wickedness over human goodness, brokenness over order, and pain over comfort. The individual cases of intense hardship are too numerous to count, or record.

Over the past half year we have watched a story unfold before our eyes that captures so much of the pain, brokenness and hopelessness of this country. It is a sad story, but thankfully the final chapter is not yet
written. We wanted to share the story with you because it has impacted us deeply and brought us humbly back to Christ, our "Blessed Hope" (Tit 2:13).

Last October, on the third day of Ramadan, a neighbor of our friend's was shot. His name is "Andrew", and at the time of the shooting he was a mere 22 years old. As far as we know, he was not involved in any suspicious activities. However, the area where "Andrew" lived is famous for rampant drug problems and gang violence.People are shot almost daily in this area, either intentionally in gang warfare, or unintentionally because they happened to be in the cross-fire of two rival groups.

"Andrew" was shot because he happened to be caught in the gunfire of two religious groups who were fighting over a plot of land. The government had decided to give a plot of land to a religious group so that a place of worship could be built on it. There were two strong and well known religious groups that were vying for the plot. Unfortunately, the fight among the two religious groups, who were members of the same religion and larger sect, spiraled down into violence. Remember, that the day "Andrew" was shot was the third day of Ramadan, the most holy Islamic month, and the month in which all faithful believers consecrate themselves unto God and devote themselves to seeking his blessing and favor. It is notorious for being a month when believers are to refrain from fighting and other sinful habits. Sadly, while in theory it is the holiest of months, in reality it is often a month of great evil.

"Andrew" was hit by a bullet in the cross-fire between these two groups. The bullet entered into his side, went through his lung and severed the main nerve in his spinal cord at the bottom. The result was that he was paralyzed from the waist down. We visited "Andrew" just a few days after the incident in the hospital. At that time, he was doing fairly well, in spite of the large wound in his side and the inability to move his legs. His family surrounded him in the hospital, alongside many others from his home community.

"Andrew's" family is quite poor. At the time of the incident his father was running a store in the front of his house that brought in about a $1.50 of profit each day. There may have been a few other extended family members who worked and gave money to "Andrew's" family of five, but regardless, they were poor. Thus, they could only afford to get treatment for "Andrew" in the free government run hospital that was not far from their community. Thankfully "Andrew" received decent care and the surgery on his lung lung and chest cavity was a success. The doctor however, in keeping with local custom, did not tell the family that it was likely "Andrew" would never walk again. Instead he gave them hope that after a mere few weeks, or months he would likely regain his ability to walk.

When we visited the family they seemed quite desperate. Both because they had little money to pay for the extra medicines needed on top of the free medical care, and because they had no idea what to expect
regarding "Andrew's" recovery and future. The entire family was poor and fairly un-educated, thus they were utterly dependent upon the government doctor's advice and the counsel of their neighbors and friends. Thankfully we were able to advise them as well, and give encouragement.

After "Andrew's" chest wound healed, his family decided to move him to an extended relative's house just outside the city. They thought that he could rest better there and hopefully recover more quickly. Thus, following the beginning of November we no longer saw "Andrew" at his home. We would stop by from time to time and ask his father how he was. They said he was fine, and were still hoping that he would regain the ability to use his legs. We did our best to encourage his father, and assure him that we continued to pray.

Around the middle, or end of February, "Andrew" returned to his family's house in the city. We were told the reason was because he needed to go to the hospital again and would get better attention and care from his
family. We decided to make another visit and check in on him.

We were immediately struck at how horrible "Andrew" looked. His condition had noticeably deteriorated; he had lost an incredible amount of weight. We asked the reason why and did our own check up. "Andrew" had not been eating or sleeping much. He complained that he could not eat much food or else there would be pain and he would throw up. We also learned, and saw for ourselves, that he had developed large bed wounds. Evidently he had not been turned appropriately, or was refusing to be turned. We did our best to offer encouraging words, and prayed with the family before leaving. When we finally left, Mary turned to me and said that she believed he was possibly close to death.

We continued to visit "Andrew", but after only a couple of weeks he was brought back to the hospital. He became extremely dehydrated, and was no longer eating any solid foods. After a few days he was released and
brought back to his house. This time he was given an I.V. for nourishment, and a host of other medicines. We visited the family again not long after this, and were once again saddened to see that "Andrew's"
condition continued to deteriorate. In that visit, "Andrew", as always, was surrounded by his unbelievably faithful and caring family. His brothers, mother and father hardly left his side. Furthermore, the extended family came daily to show support and help in any way they could. It was amazing to see their love and care. This visit, however, we were only able to speak with "Andrew's" family. He was so weak and tired that he hardly opened his eyes during our visit. When he did open them, he did not recognize us, or say anything.

Only two days late "Andrew" died. We had planned to visit his community that day and visit him. We were told however to not come. The funeral would take place immediately and it was uncertain whether there would be riots following it. During the months following the shooting, the two religious groups came to "Andrew's" father. However, they did not come to comfort the family, or ask for forgiveness for what had happened. Rather they came to bribe the family. Both groups offered not more than a mere $20 to the family, if they would claim the other religious group as the guilty party. Rightfully enraged, "Andrew's" father threw both of the groups out of his house and refused to take any money. Thus, because of the shooting and the subsequent actions of the religious groups, it was possible that a riot might take place.

Rioting is what people do in our adopted country when horrible and unjust events take place beyond their control. There is no trustworthy legal system they can turn to for justice, or in this case, a religious group that can offer real comfort, hope and some solid answers. Thus, because there are no trustworthy human institutions or political/religious groups to turn to, people often riot. The overflow of years and years of injustice, disappointment and evil suddenly takes over and leads to widespread rage. This rage often is not even directed towards those who committed the wrong, rather sheer anarchy takes over.
The result is that cars, stores and residences are burned. Public property is destroyed and people get seriously injured and even die in the fury of rage. Generally, the guilty party goes unharmed.

By the grace of God a riot did not break out following "Andrew's" death. Instead, the regular customs of sharing with the family in their grief were followed. On the third day we visited the family in order to sit
with them and offer prayers. In "Andrew's" culture, family and friends from all over the world will come to sit with the family and offer prayers up to forty days after the death. The third and tenth day of this mourning period are considered the most important, and considered necessary to take part in if at all possible. It was a strange blessing to be in a "house of mourning" that day (Ecc 7:2). I left reminded of the mortality of man, and our desperate need for a Savior.

Over the next few days we kept up with "Andrew's" family through our friend in the community. Obviously the pain and sorrow were great in the home, and the entire community. However, the story took an even worse turn exactly ten days after "Andrew" died. On the tenth day of mourning for "Andrew", his father suddenly suffered a stroke and was rushed to the hospital. He quickly lost feeling in his right side and lost the ability to speak. The tenth day is supposed to be the last day of intense mourning for the grieving family. On this day family members and friends make one last visit, and from that point on the intensity of the grief is supposed to subside. Unfortunately, "Andrew's" family's grief only multiplied.

Four days later, exactly two weeks to the day, "Andrew's" father died. We did not receive the news the morning he died, but arrived in the community where they live around lunch time. There was a tent set up opposite the family home, and a number of men were sitting under it. We immediately knew that "Andrew's" father must have died. Whenever someone dies the family sets up a tent outside their home so that mourners have a place to gather and rest in the shade before the funeral procession takes place.

Having got out of the car, I made my way to the tent and sat down. The crowds were waiting for daily prayers to be finished, and then the funeral procession was supposed to start. After some time, I suddenly heard a loud sound of someone crying. I figured that it was some of the women of the family in the house. After just a few short minutes "Andrew's" younger brother emerged wailing. The sound and the emotion being expressed was almost too much take. The majority of those gathered under the tent either sat, or stood silently as "Andrew's" brother wailed, and a few held him and did their best to comfort him. I have never heard someone wail like that, and it struck me so deeply that I had an intense desire to breakdown and weep myself. I figured it was not appropriate for me to also weep, and so I did my best to fight it back. It was the most intense emotion I have ever seen someone express in my life.

After a few long minutes "Andrew's" father's corpse was brought under the tent. The crowds briefly prayed and then passed by the corpse to get one last look, and offer one last goodbye. We then got into buses and cars and made our way to the graveyard. Once reaching the graveyard last prayers were offered and the body was buried. It was all over in less than one hour.

We have yet to visit the family again after the funeral, but we intend to this week. The future for the remaining family members remains uncertain. What is certain is that there is now a house without a husband, father, brother and friend. On a more practical note the future is also unclear in regards to how the family will get by. Before "Andrew's" shooting, only one brother and the father worked. The brother quickly quit his work after the shooting to take care of his brother. "Andrew's" father continued to run his little shop outside their home, but as I shared earlier, it does not bring in much money.

This story is incredibly sad, but even more sad is the fact that the number of stories similar to this one, are beyond counting on this side of the world. No doubt, there is joy, happiness and common grace all over this place, but for far too many people, sadness and sorrow far outstrip the joy that comes now and then.

Having watched this story unfold before my eyes, I have been freshly challenged by the reality of our hope in Christ. Through the Apostle Peter I was reminded that the hope of Christ is a living, true and objective reality. Whether we believe it, feel it, or ponder it day by day or not, our hope is truly alive (1 Pet 1:3). The question is not, "is there hope in this world?", but, "have we been born again into the living hope through the resurrection of Christ" (1 Peter 1:3), and if we have been born again, then the question is, "just how real is this living and objective hope of Christ to us?" Is it so alive that it shines, and causes those without this hope to ask about it (1 Pet 3:15)?

Our prayer is that our hope will become the hope of more and more suffering people on this side of the world. We are thankful that this hope is not small, but rather it will lead to the renewal of all things, that is, a new heavens and new earth in which righteousness will dwell (2 Pet 3:13). This is good news, since this fallen and broken world is desperate for a living, real and big hope, that will not disappoint.

My Top 12 Books from this year

2008-12-30T16:10:00.008+05:00

I had a fairly successful year of book reading. I aspire to read more of course, and find it is mainly a matter of cutting back on other sources of entertainment (i.e. Facebook and movies). I've recently read a few articles of various people reading a book a week. I was about 1 book every other week. Lets see how this next year goes.

I picked my top 12 books from this year to share (#1 being my favorite):

12. Kim- Rudyard Kipling. I don't get to classics often, so it was good to get one on the list. I enjoyed it because it fit in with my goal to read books about this region.

11. Cross Cultural Servanthood/Cross Cultural Connection- Duane Elmer. Two books, but of the same genre. insights in living and serving in another culture. Helped me in this very transition this year.

10. Introducing Medical Anthropology- Merrill Singer. A basic intro to this science. I have a very strong interest in the weaving of cultural values/beliefs and medical practices/beliefs. People view medical issues differently here. I want to know how to understand this!

9. An Artist of the Floating World- Kazuo Ishiguro. A random read as the book was left at my house by a friend. A story of a Japanese artist during the reconstruction era after WWII. I feel like the book gave me insight into my dad.

8. A Thousand Splendid Suns- Khalid Hosseini. Lets be honest, this guy knows how to write captivating novels. I just feel so bad for the plight of women, knowing too that it really is a reality.

7. Respectable Sins- Jerry Bridges. I always like Jerry's practical theology. This book was convicting and enlighting to sins that I know I brush off as no big deal. I begin pondering how different cultures may have their own sets of respectable sins.

6. Revelations of a Single Woman- Connally Gilliam. Quite entertaining, but also, I feel, really hits the mark on describing the single life. While I am no longer single, I can appreciate what she talks about. I desire to stay connected to that time period in my life and be a friend to the singles around me.

5. Urdu: An Essential Grammar- Ruth Schmidt. This may have been the most enlightening about myself. I found studying this grammar book fascinating. Sadly I am learning my first language in my mid-30's. Never did I know how much I would enjoy it!

4. Freedom at Midnight- Larry Collins. History of the partition between India and Pakistan at the time that they gained their independence from Britain. Many interesting characters involved in this true story.

3. Urdu Bible. To read the Bible in a new language with a new script is seeing things in a new way. I can't wait to go deeper.

2. The Memory Keeper's Daughter- Kim Edwards. The tale of a man who makes a huge decision that effects the remainder of his life as well as many around him. Amazing job at character development and the impact of a split second decision. The book was profound for me.

1. The Great Game- Peter Hopkirk. The history of the fight for Central Asia between Britain and Russia in the 19th century. It was a huge scope of history and seemed like it gave so much understanding even into events of today.

Earthquake

2008-11-15T18:05:00.005+05:00

An earthquake happened October 29th in the North. 166 killed and at least 10,000 left homeless. On November 8th we arrived in the area to join our friends serving here. (This is the exact day Joe arrived in country 3 years earlier to help with the earthquake of 2005) We distributed heaters, water holders (non technical term for something that holds water), and a couple of other essentials. Today we are consulting with one community about clearing their land in preparation to re-build in the spring. I have had the opportunity to sit and "be" with the women and children which they often say is a neglected need after a disaster. We continue to feel blessed to be here and to be available to serve in so many different capacities.

Joint Family System

2008-11-13T17:12:00.002+05:00

Last week I did a homestay. I wanted to stay with a local family while Joe was out of town for a meeting. For me I wanted to live in the culture a bit closer and as well as being immersed in the language. I'd have to say it was successful week in both of those regards. It also allowed me to face those DIFFERENCES in the culture and reflect how I respond to them. Sometimes I get irritated because I just don't understand why people do or believe in the way that they do. I can write on some of those more specifically another time.

To get back to the title of the post . . . families here have a joint system. Essentially meaning sons live with their parents after they get married and have kids. What that meant for the family I stayed with was that 35 people were living together. I never got everyone's name down, but I always found someone to talk to. This family has 11 sons so that is why the number is so high, and why the number could get much higher. I've attempted to explain our system of moving out of our parent's house often after high school. It is a completely foreign concept.

where there are no mini vans

2008-11-11T21:24:00.003+05:00

This isn't the best picture as it was taken when they were passing on the highway. I saw these 4 kids riding in the trunk while the car was loaded with adults. We were driving on an unpaved dusty road in a 4 wheel drive, and this car sped quickly ahead of us.

Yellow Bride in the Corner

2008-11-07T12:13:00.002+05:00

Its wedding season! We've received a few invites and are getting to know the routine. Last night I went to a portion of the wedding ceremony called the "mahndi". The bride sits in the corner of her parents' home for a little over 36 hours. She keeps her faced covered while relatives apply henna and other spa-like treatments (i.e. ointments and creams and lotions and potions). I don't fully know yet the meaning behind keeping the face covered. Anyway, I walked into the room where she sat not having seen this before. I whispered to Carrie, "Can we talk to her? What are we supposed to do?" I am not so savvy on cultural things at times. The bride heard me and said, "Mary, you can greet me. Now come here and sit with me!" We enjoyed a lovely veiled discussion.

The next day the groom will come and take her back to his home in a procession. And then they will begin their new life together.

Grief

2008-10-18T12:48:00.003+06:00

I just listened to a short podcast from NPR. A man had lost his infant son and talked about the grief that followed. He went on to say that grief is "showing honor to the one that you love". I can't help but to agree. If we would see someone who just lost someone and they weren't grieving we might ask or think, "don't they care?" Grief seems to be viewed differently here. I shouldn't say much on this as I don't fully understand the culture yet. But I can tell the story of sitting in a local home and a woman came in. She began to cry because her teenage brother had been killed the night before from a gun shot. Nobody said anything, and I was waiting for the cultural clues to know what to do. After a minute or two, the woman of the house said, "Enough! This was Allah's plan!" To grieve here seems to indicate a lack of trust in God. So grief is discouraged, at least publicly.

Anniversary Boat Ride

2008-10-06T20:11:00.003+06:00

For our 2 year anniversary, Joe organized a boat ride for us in the Arabian sea. We went along the coast for a couple of hours westward. He arranged it through a friend's cousin who knew a fisherman. We both enjoyed it especially because it was another adventure together.

Enjoy more pictures when you press "my photos" to the right.

Anniversary Dinner

2008-10-05T22:58:00.002+06:00

Tomorrow is our 2 year wedding anniversary. Our Urdu teacher and his friend made us a very special meal and bought us this cake. While listening to Bollywood love songs, they had us cut the cake together and then feed each other. I couldn't have asked for anything better.

Celebrating Eid

2008-10-04T19:22:00.004+06:00

Eid is the 3 day Muslim holiday celebrating the end of Ramadan. We had expected it to start on Thursday, but we woke on Wednesday to lots of noise and clamor, and had a sneaking suspicion that the date changed during the night. It is all based on the lunar calendar and the Eid moon was seen earlier than expected. Thankfully, we were prepared in terms of clothes and gifts. We spent the next 2 days visiting with friends doing what you see in the picture above sans the chai (tea) in our hands.

I had a moment. I was following a local lady who was fully burqaed through the neighborhood visiting various houses. We were weaving through small alleys strewn with trash, donkeys and goats tied to doorways, mangy dogs scrounging for food. I stepped back and thought, "Wow! This life is really different!" It all seems right. I am having so much fun. What an amazing experience to sit in homes and begin to enter into lives, experience a new culture, talk in a new language. I can't fully explain it all. To go home later on and get on the computer and remember back in the States no holiday was happening was kind of strange.

Big Day

2008-09-27T22:07:00.003+06:00

I haven't spoken much of it, but the last few weeks have been Ramadan. Tonight is the "night of power" where men go to the mosque all night to pray. Women do the same at home. They wait for visions and guidance, and pray to ward off evil. They call it "big day" in this language.

We broke the fast with some friends tonight. Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset everyday during Ramadan. When the call to prayer goes off in the evening, they break the fast, usually by eating a couple of dates. The meal that breaks the fast is called Iftar. So with our friends tonite, the food was all layed out before us and we waited about 10 minutes until we heard the call to prayer from the mosque, then we dug in. The smokers in the crowd usually bypass the dates to quick light up as they are not to smoke during the fast either.

We've had some good conversations about fasting this month. Sharing notes about what it means. I speak very simply at this point, but I am encouraged as people are interested in hearing more, and its always good to hear how people understand their own faith.

The Battle is On

2008-09-19T06:33:00.002+06:00

The rat/mouse is back. For over a week now we are seeing evidence of a rodent in our kitchen. We had left a window open for a few hours one evening and it must have discovered the tasty morsels in our kitchen. He keeps coming back.

Some pearls I have gained in this battle . . .

You really get to know something when you are battling against it (take this to deeper places). I am really getting to know its habits, its food preferences, maybe its weaknesses. Its favorite munchie is rice. So much so, that last night it was able to eat it off a mouse trap without setting it off. BUT it also, ate rice laden with poison. Only 3 pellets so we have to wait and see what it can handle. As I lay in bed strategizing, I thought that if the certified rat poison doesn't work, I will head over to the pharmacy and get a cardiovascular med that could send it into a deadly heart rhythm. (ALL meds are over the counter here). Any blog readers who experiment with rats down in the lab have a suggestion?
When you really want something, there is a way. (go deeper here too). With the kitchen cordoned off, we soon discovered it redirected its path. It began to gnaw through other screen windows, eat the bottom of 2 doorways (to crawl underneath), and then would enter the land of its dreams-- our kitchen. We can't keep get ahead of it! We now close every door, every window, pack every bit of food, AND it keeps coming back!
Mice seem to be incontinent. (stay at the surface) It has no sense of discretion where it relieves itself. And there are no convenient to clean piles. I was thinking about it this morning after clean-up, it must be running along with poops just falling out the back end.

Missing Mom

2008-09-17T23:55:00.003+06:00

2 years ago my mom passed away. As I look at her photo, it still feels like a huge loss in my heart. She was so precious to me. Looking at her photo, I can still hear her voice in my head. I hear the intonations of her voice and how she said my name. I remember the experience of her care and love for me. I remember her waiting at the door for me when I would arrive home after a 10 hour drive from Minneapolis. And I remember that last hour of the drive, being so excited to see her everytime.

Along with all this God has brought me much comfort and care. To His Glory, I can say that HE is GOOD.

This is a photo of my mom holding my twin and I. My brother Dave is on the left.

Visit to the hospital

2008-09-15T21:48:00.004+06:00

Today Joe and I were asked to visit a friend's neighbor in the hospital. 2 weeks ago he was caught in some crossfire between gangs and was shot in the back. He now has a spinal cord injury and some other complications. I think I have written on this before, but they often like us to go to the hospital to check in on people and make sure all that should be happening is happening. The beauty of it is that medical charts are kept at the bedside. No HIPPA forms involved, I walk to the bedside and read through the whole medical chart and see what is going on. Sometimes it is a matter of explaining to the family the medical care. Or sometimes suggesting something that seems to need to happen. In this guy's case, good care was being given. The family called the MD in anyway, and I was able to hear the prognosis which he readily admitted he wasn't telling the family. His injury is at T10 which means that he probably won't walk again. This is very sad to think about considering where he lives. Life as a paraplegic in an area of unpaved roads with wild traffic means you are quite restricted to your community mobility. The family is extremely poor which is another reason they asked us to come by. We were able to help with the bills and pray with the family that God would intervene.

New photo album from medical clinics

2008-09-08T20:29:00.001+06:00

look at my photo album to the right

Bijli Ati Jati hey

2008-08-27T16:23:00.002+06:00

The topic of conversation around here these days is not about sports or weather, but the electricity. In the last few days, the electricity comes and goes (the meaning of the title) constantly. Sometimes it is 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off for hours. I am learning to not keep things (like a computer) plugged in b/c the power surges can harm things even with a transformer. I am learning to buy in smaller amounts b/c food is going bad in the refrigerator. I am learning to sleep with sweat dripping down.

To be honest, I don't know how to explain the bureaucratic problems that is causing this. But I do know that the newspaper said this morning that on top of this, they are now going to raise the price of electricity. There could be some very angry people . . .

Birthday Post

2008-08-10T07:55:00.003+06:00

I tried to switch the time back to U.S. time so I could actually post this entry on my birthday. But no such success. I have already had a full night's sleep and the day has moved on to the 10th here.

My birthday was a low key day here. We heard the medical team missed a flight which gave us 16 or so extra hours to prepare for their coming. In the afternoon we met up with our friends Dave and Jenny at the local Naval Park (with so much money going to the military they really keep up their parks:) ). Of all things, Jenny has the same birthday. The menu included a bucket of Kentucky Fried (hey, options are limited here), homemade salsa (my choice potluck item this month) and a really nice cake from a bakery (Dave's find).

I came home and had a quick chat with my family back in MO. I gave my twin brother a call, but he didn't pick up. I had heard he was out playing African drums for his (our) birthday. Probably couldn't hear the ringer over the beats.

A few thoughts on hospitality

2008-08-08T17:05:00.004+06:00

I think that I have mentioned a few times about the hospitality here. This part of the world is known for its welcoming of guests. Imagine walking down the street (a bit more true in villages than in big cities) and being urged by locals to come inside their home for a cup of tea and biscuits (i.e. cookies for us from the U.S.). For extraverts, its a lot of fun; we are always meeting new people and getting to be with people in their homes.

Our problem is knowing what to do with those awkward final moments when we are ready to leave. Although they invited us in, how long do they want us to stay? How do we say that we need to move on without offending? We all struggle with this wherever we are, but with hospitality being such a HUGE value here, the pressure not to offend someone by leaving too early or too late seems all the more stressful. Somehow you have to send signals that they have successfully been a great host. We try our best, but anticipate future understanding that will show us we should have done some things differently.

I struggle with one piece of the hospitality. To show you that they are offering you a clean cup, they will set a cup in front of you dripping with water. Thats not a big deal unless you are aware of results of testing done on that water. Acceptable drinking water has less than 500 of some measurement of microbes. In this area testing has shown the levels over 30,000. We are trying to work on that problem. Anyway, just one droplet in your system doesn't sit well for a few days. I just experienced that this week. We try to discreetly wipe the cups, but it isn't always possible. Most times you say a short prayer before you take a sip.

Medical Team coming

2008-08-08T16:31:00.006+06:00

This week we jumped right back in. In 3 days a medical team comes to do 7 medical clinics in a slum area of our city. This is our 2nd time around doing this as a medical team came last September. We have high hopes that the 2nd time around will go much smoother. We already have the medications set up at our first location and have discussed the flow of the clinic. The biggest anticipated stress is thinking about crowd control. When something free is being offered in desperate days as these, people can get quite pushy. Our goal is to serve as many people as possible, but also give our medical professionals the space and peace to do a quality job.

I am excited

to see people from home
to use my newly acquired language
to meet new local ladies (with hope that I will see some again)
to survey the people in anticipation of future, long term medical work
to gather more anthropological insights for medical care.

Back Home

2008-08-02T21:39:00.002+06:00

We arrived back today after 3 months away at language school. It feels great to be home! We both have been able to try out our new language skills in the neighborhood. Its encouraging to see progress after so much hard work. Will post more soon . . . busy re-settling in.

Teas

2008-07-15T18:03:00.003+06:00

Tea is a very important part of this culture. When you meet someone, often the first request from them is to have tea. There are also different types of tea in different parts. In the south we mostly drink milky tea (black tea with milk and sugar), in the east we drink green tea (with sugar), and in the north on our vacation we drank tumuro tea (I heard it is made with thyme). In northeast apparently the tea is pink, but I haven't had that yet.

On vacation we were always wanting the native experience. A local widow invited us in for tea. She asked how we wanted it fixed. Joe promptly said, "just like the locals". She poured us some tumuro tea into a large cup (looked like a bowl). Took a couple of sips- delicious. After this though she proceeded to put in salt. I took a couple sips and thought, "I can handle this. I like salt." But then she put fresh butter. And then broke up pieces of fresh bread. Two large bowls of salty, fatty tea with bread chunks sat in front of us. The first couple of sips/bites were okay, but then it became quite obnoxious to our taste buds. About 50% down, when our host wasn't looking, we began pleading with the other to finish each other's tea. We gulped down another 25%, but then had to call it quits. Our host seemed to understand.

The next tea time we were more careful in our request of how we wanted it fixed.

Public Shame

2008-07-11T18:53:00.004+06:00

The other day we were walking in the bazaar when we began to hear a lot of noise and people all looking in the same direction. The commotion was coming quicker and we couldn't figure out what was going on. We finally pushed ourselves to the edge of the road and saw a group of policemen coming with a large group of people behind them. The people the police were escorting looked like they had been rounded up like a herd of cattle. As a group (about 20 people) they were lassoed together in a rope and all walking together. In the front were men who all had blank ink smired on their faces and clothes. They also had their hands tied together with rope. In the back of the herd were women. It was another one of those instances where we had absolutely no idea what was going on. We asked the ever helpful, "Kya hua?" (what happened) to a few people. We were able to piece together that it was group that was caught drinking alcohol in a hotel as well as some potential prostitution activities. They were being publicly shamed by being paraded through the busiest part of town.

Last Month at School for the summer

2008-07-10T21:50:00.002+06:00

We started our last month of language school this week. We decided to up our classes to 6 (from 5) and asked if the classes could be consecutive instead of spread throughout the day. So we are studying from 8:15-1:05pm M-F. The schedule is working great for us and it is jammed packed with really good teachers. After our vacation we have felt re-energized to hit the books again and learn more Urdu!

Yesterday as we were walking around town, a local kid started to walk alongside us, and wanted to chit chat. We ended up taking him to dinner with us and I was able to to get some good Urdu speaking practice in. Joe laughed, because I used my new piece of grammar over and over with the kid and he didn't seem to mind.

Vacation

2008-07-06T19:24:00.004+06:00

Last night we came back from our week long vacation in Karimabad. Amazing. I posted our photos which you can look at when you click on "my photos" to the right. The photo here was taken at the start of one of our hikes. This was one of the most beautiful places either of us had ever been to. Take a look!

Harvest Time

2008-06-10T22:30:00.004+06:00

This last weekend we went way up into the mountains to visit a friend's village. A few posts will follow about this with photos. I thought I would get the first one up tonite. The village was in the area that was affected by the earthquake a few years ago. Many will remember that Joe and I were here during that time doing relief work. It was great to revisit these areas that we fell in love with at that time. There are NGO signs everywhere with listings of work that is still going on in these areas. We had a great time.

Here are some of the pics:

Wheat

Tater Time

Illegal weeds (at least in the U.S.)

Visit at friend's hours

2008-06-10T22:27:00.004+06:00

These are photos are at our friend's house. Second picture is a big break through for me- not fearing a farm animal is going to bite me.

rest weekend

2008-06-01T12:36:00.004+06:00

After 1 month of intense language learning, we decided to come down from the hills and have a weekend away in Islamabad. We were able to stay at a great guest house for the night.

Here is what this place has to offer:

1. Decent internet! I was able to download quite a few podcasts to get me through the next month.

2. TV

3. 10 minute walk over to Pizza Hut and an amazing book store

4. Lots of Westerners so you fit in as just another white person in the crowd

Here is what I would like more of:

1. More uninterrupted electricity (power would often be on for about 1-2 hours at a time then off for a few)

2. Middle Eastern Restaurant with some good hummus

3. Movie theater to see a new flick

Now we are ready to go back and face another month of learning.

Beautiful Views

2008-05-24T19:35:00.002+05:00

Another beautiful sunset from our balcony.

Corresponding Photos to "A Day in the Life"

2008-05-17T22:13:00.004+05:00

Joe and I at the school for the disabled

Carrying the Olymic torch with the crown of flowers the students gave to me- read next blog entry for more details!

A tent village (like the one we stopped and had tea at)

Sunset over the mountains

A Day in the Life

2008-05-17T20:51:00.005+05:00

Due to the volume of responses from the last entry, I felt encouraged to get another post up.

This is what we did on our day off today-- Saturday.

We started off the day visiting a school for the disabled. Joe had met a teacher from the school when he was out at the bazaar one of our first days here. Around 70 students go to this school from surrounding villages and have various diablilites. Joe's friend gave us a tour and took us into each classroom. Upon our entry into each classroom all the students would stand and salute us. (I held back from saying "at ease students"). First we visited a class for the blind where they are learning to read Braille in both English and Urdu. Then we visited 3 classes for the deaf. Next we went to a class for the physically disabled, and lastly a class for developmentally disabled. You occasionally hear horror stories about the life of the disabled here, and in Karachi you see many on the street that are beggars. So it was encouraging to see this school and the commitment they have to teaching these kids. Joe's friend became vision impaired as a child when a firecracker blew up in his face. Since then not only has he gone on to become a teacher, but also an international para-olympic athlete. He will be going to China in June. He carried the torch when it came through Pakistan.

One of the teachers invited me to come with her back to her village to attend a relative's wedding. I really wanted to, but due to eating some bad local food the night before that was just starting to show its effects, I decided I needed to get back to the comfort of my own bathroom. She is getting married in June so I told her I would come to her wedding.

So we hopped on the school bus and they dropped us off at the road that leads back up to where we live (about a 30 minute walk). I thought I could make it and thought the walk might do me some good. About 5 minutes into the walk we ran into a young Pushtun boy selling shawls. Taking every opportunity we can to talk Urdu, we stopped and had a chat. This lead to a cup of hot green tea on the roadside, which then lead to going up the hill to the tents where his family lives and sharing some lunch with them. At first we both sat in the tent with the men, and I said to take me to the women which was just the next tent over. She unfortunately didn't speak Urdu (only Pushtun), but one of the teenage guys came over and helped translate. This family comes every year from the Afg border. They set up tents in the exact same place every year and sell shawls by the roadside for about 6 months, until Ramadan they told us. Joe and I both reflected how much we enjoyed our time with this family. Its that culture of hospitality we experienced so much in the earthquake and at other times in rural places. We both delight in sitting on a carpet in a tent/mud hut and enjoying tea and conversation with locals. And now we are able to enjoy it so much more now that we speak some language.

I lasted for about 45 minutes before I started to get real uncomfortable again. I don't have the Urdu to ask about personal needs if you know what I mean. While I know how to ask for a bathroom, this wouldn't really serve me since they only have bushes. We decided it was just best to get a move on. 5 more minutes up the road we ran into some private apartments. They didn't have public toilets, but said I could use the one in the "servant's quarters". While it was private, the bushes would of been better. Enough said.

We continued our walk and made it home in 20 minutes. The rest of day we did a mix of work and rest. Joe did NGO stuff, while I continued reading a book about the history of the partition of India and Pakistan. Then I did my own NGO stuff finishing up a budget and proposal for a medical team that will be coming here in August.

And then we enjoyed a beautiful sunset looking over the mountains.

Keep with us

2008-05-14T22:11:00.003+05:00

To all our faithful readers . . . all 2 of you . . . please bear with us as we aren't posting much these days. Last week we arrived in language school and have been fairly involved in our studies. This on top of having an internet connection like the ones back in the early 90's!

We are enjoying our time here though. We have 5 classes a day with a variety of teachers. Its been encouraging to see some progress in our speaking, but especially for comprehension. They have also encouraged us to get out and speak in the community as much as we can. Many local shopkeepers seem to be familiar with all the language students and know how to correct us when we speak wrong.

We live in an apartment that has a great view of the mountains. In the evenings we occasionally like to sit and watch the sunset. Unfortunately the place is also infested with flying squirrels. They are interesting to watch fly away in the evenings, but then they wake us up every mornings as they come back in to sleep. If you remember from our previous entry we were dealing with a mouse and all his droppings back in Karachi. Now we have flying squirrels pellets all over the places. On top of this Joe seems to have an allergy to flying squirrels that we never know about.

All for now!

Post Wedding Blog

2008-04-20T22:18:00.003+05:00

We made it to the wedding right around 10:45 pm. We of course thought that we would be late in our arrival. Well, we were one of the first. We met people as they slowly strolled in over the next couple of hours. The bride and groom arrived around 12:45 am and then dinner served around 1 am. Dinner was buffet style. An aggressive first come, first serve sort of style with separate tables for men and women. There seemed to be no shame in pushing others aside to get to kabobs.

I rather enjoyed the evening. I was able to meet a few people, and one woman that I hope to call and get to know.

Wedding Invite for tomorrow Night!

2008-04-18T11:28:00.004+05:00

I was very excited to come home Wednesday evening and find a wedding invitation waiting for me. I went to a wedding here back in 2003, but not since. It will be on Saturday, tomorrow which means I had to get expedited tailor service for fancy clothes. Evening activities will begin at 9pm, dinner at 10 pm and something else (I don't know what) is at 11 pm. This is all "Insha Allah" which is printed on the invitation. This means "If the Lord wills". I will Insha Allah post a blog after the event too.

Multiple Choice Quiz (from J)

2008-04-14T23:29:00.006+05:00

Where does this man come from?

A. England

B. France

C. Russia

D Middle East

E. Northern Pakistan

F. Western Pakistan

G. China

H. U.S.

I think you all know the right answer. This list contains all the places people have thought I was from. A few of them I understand, but the China guess caused me to give the man a strange face. Overall, it is pretty nice to keep people confused. It allows me to stay under the radar a bit and keeps all the over zealous lovers of western culture and people away!!!! My European friend with blonde hair and trendy glasses gets a lot more stares and requests from random people.

Convenience

2008-04-14T23:06:00.003+05:00

On the streets people sell all sorts of things: kleenex, towels, flowers, coconuts, anything you might possibly need (including monkeys)!! Tonite as I walked on the street a woman approached me selling colostomy bags. I began laughing and wasn't able to ask the price. (FYI: they did appear to be new)

The Doorman

2008-04-14T17:17:00.006+05:00

Before we came here we told people we would have a doorman at our new home. It seemed by people's reactions they had assumptions by what we meant by doorman. Maybe a man with top hat and tails waiting at our beck and call.

Here a doorman is not really a luxury, but a necessity. Our landlord required us to hire one (he shares the cost), and we do find him especially helpful because we don't know the language or how things work yet. Not only does he answer the door at our front gate (future post), he also pays our bills, runs errands, does odds and ends, etc. Our doorman is the brother of our American friend's doorman. They are both from an area in the mountains in the north. Back in 2005 their house was destroyed by the earthquake. We hope to visit his village sometime in the future.

"Which one do you like? The blue one . . . or the other blue one?"

2008-04-14T17:08:00.004+05:00

I clipped this photo from the local newspaper.

Special Treats

2008-04-13T22:45:00.002+05:00

About once a week we go out to eat for a special treat, mostly Western. Some of our favorites:

Nando's: Portuguese eatery with incredible chicken. The hummus is fabulous too.
Arizona Grill: American food.
Costa Coffee: We've tried to recreate our "study in a coffee shop" atmosphere from back home, but it hasn't been as successful as we like. But its a 5 minute walk from our house so it nice for Joe to go get a cup of Jo every once in a while.
Salt 'n Peppa: Local food buffet. When we're in the mood for local food. Right on the ocean!
And some familiars: McDonalds, Pizza Hut, and KFC.

Hopefully we will keep trying to venture out to some of the hot spots

No More Baked Goodies

2008-04-13T22:13:00.002+05:00

My neighbor and I have been passing back and forth food. A couple of times around 9 pm (their time for eating dinner) a small dish of their dinner will show up at my house. Usually VERY spicy, but delicious. I in turn have been taking over baked goodies-- banana bread, cookies and yesterday, muffins. But yesterday she kindly asked me if my food was halal. I asked her what are haram items that I may not know about that I could have put in the muffins. She said "pig meat and alcohol". I assured her that neither of these were in the muffins. I asked her where one might find these items here in the city. She said you can't. I understand that if any of these products were used in my kitchen at any time, any of the food that I made would be haram. My kitchen would be considered halal since I do not use any of these products in my kitchen. I told her she didn't need to eat the muffins if she was worried.

After 9 weeks

2008-04-09T20:11:00.003+05:00

We can know hold a *very* basic conversation with 150 million more people on the earth
We eat more fruits and veggies because they are much cheaper here and the guy who sells veggies stops in front of our house everyday at 12:30.
We have new and different challenges to figure out and trust God for.
We have more appreciation for family, friends and things back home.
We have new friends from various places (Pakistan, Canada, UK)
We are thankful to be here.

My Home Person

2008-04-05T18:15:00.002+05:00

Here there are different ways to show respect to people. One is by not calling them by name.

I asked my language teacher about what to call Joe when I am with a local female friend. I asked if it is best to refer to him as "my husband" as opposed to "Joe". (I know for Joe in most situations as he talks to local men he will not say my name in their presence but only refer to me as "my wife".). The teacher said that saying "my husband" is good. He did tell us that another option that village people use is to not even use "my husband", but "mera ghar wala". The translation being "my home person". Joe and I both had a chuckle that we can officially call each other "my homie".

Every Man's Home is His Castle . . .

2008-04-05T18:05:00.003+05:00

. . . As can be seen by the moat that is in front of our house.

A month ago a pipe broke up our street causing a river of sewage to run in front of our home. Thankfully we live on the second floor and a wall that surrounds our building keeps the smell from wafting up to our place. Amazingly some of the local men who work for our neighbors in their homes sit outside close to this green sludge. It doesn't seem to bother them. The scarf that I wear to cover my hair comes in very handy to cover my nose when I walk by.

A new twist on confusion

2008-03-31T18:06:00.004+05:00

Just as our tutor was about to dive into explaining a couple of words that are difficult for foreigners to understand, he warned us with . . .

"Now this is going to be very confusionable."

After listening for about 20 minutes, I agree. It is very confusionable.

Carpets

2008-03-30T21:29:00.014+05:00

Carpets are an important part of this culture. I'd say they are intertwined with the great value of hospitality that exists here. When you arrive at someone's home, this is where they immediately seatt you-- on the carpet. They usually set a pillow and invite you to sitt on the middle edge against the wall. Then a few times I have had the entire population from the village of women and children form a semi circle around me and stare. They will give me a cup of tea and cookies and watch. One village I was thankful that after many giggles and side comments to each other, a little boy stepped forward and showed me through actions how to properly have tea and cookies. I didn't know to dip the cookie in the tea before eating it!

We decided to buy a carpet in the anticipation of friends coming over. We heard it was best to get carpets up at a border town so when we went to visit our office we took a local friend with us to carpet shop.

The man pictured is the successful salesman. He had a very pleasant spirit, with a ruggedness that revealed him to be a man of the frontier. After viewing about 10 carpets, we picked (well, Joe kind of deferred to me) the one we liked. Of course over a cup of tea, we negotiated the price.

Carpet as it sits in our front room

rats and lizards

2008-03-28T22:32:00.006+05:00

Everyone who has traveled and lived overseas has their own nasty creature stories to share. We have started collecting our own, and so I thought I would take time to share a good one with you.

Even before we moved here we were aware that small lizards regularly appear inside homes. After a few days we quickly realized that there were at least two small lizards living inside our house. We were not all that concerned since they seemed to mostly hang out on the walls and were not all that scary. However, a few days later we started to realize that little poo pellets were showing up on our couch and bed in the extra bedroom during the night. We immediately assumed that these pellets were from the lizards, and became a little agitated. Mary did some research on the internet to try and decide if we should get rid of the little buggers since we did not want them defecating on our furniture. We decided against the idea of eradication since they are known to kill bugs and the poo pellets were quite small and easy to dispose of.

After a few more days we realized that during the night something was getting into our fruits and vegetables in the kitchen. Again we suspected a lizard since there were more poo pellets on our kitchen counter. At this point we decided that while the small lizards in the other rooms of the house were ok, there must be a big one living in the kitchen since things were quite disturbed in there each morning. Mary read on the internet that these lizards are very territorial and so we figured that we just had to deal with the BIG ONE that seemed to be living in, and feasting on the goods in our kitchen.

After a few more days it suddenly became clear that we were not dealing with a big lizard. Occasionally at night we would walk into the kitchen and see what we thought was lizard scurrying away. Usually the thing would run for the oven and hide in the holes in the back of it. It was not until earlier this week that I finally got a good view of this fast moving thing and realized that it was not a large lizard, but rather a rat about 6 or 7 inches long. The threat level in our house quickly jumped from orange to bright red.

After seeing the rat behind the stove I quickly left the kitchen and sealed it off from the rest of the house. After consulting with Mary I decided to head for the local bazaar and search for something that would kill the thing. I looked around in a few places and finally settled on the most vicious, metal toothed mouse/rat trap that I have ever seen. The store keeper proudly showed me how the thing worked, I however was not so excited since I foresaw the probability of this poorly crafted metal trap seriously wounding a couple of my fingers as pretty high.

Having bought the trap for 50 cents I made my way home. I showed Mary the trap and we began trying to prepare it for the kill. However after only a few minutes of preparing the trap the thing broke and was rendered useless. So at that point I decided to go into the danger zone and see the rat another time. I decided to climb up on the counter next to the stove and try to get a good look behind the thing since that was were I expected the rat to be. After looking for a stretch and not seeing anything, I got a stick from outside and began beating the oven incessantly since I thought that would drive him out from the holes in the back of it. After hitting the thing enough times and not getting any results, I got down from the counter and began open and closing the doors on the oven very cautiously. Finally, I turned the thing around a few times, looked in the holes, and determined that the rat must be some where else.

At this point I realized that there was a massive hole in the bottom left corner of the screen to one of our kitchen windows. I had seen this hole before but did not think anything of it since we never opened that window. However, after closer inspection it became clear that through the window next to it, which we always keep open, a rat could find a way to the hole in the screen. Thankfully, during my time away at the bazaar the rat must have left the kitchen. Now we no longer open either of the windows at night, and since making this move we have had no more disturbances in the kitchen or random pellet droppings around the house. Good Times!!!!

Where the Time is going . . .

2008-03-28T21:24:00.003+05:00

Last week I hit one of those stress peaks as we switched over to Urdu script in one of our classes. All of a sudden something I trusted so much was pulled out from under me-- Roman script-- the only letters that meant something to me. Reading is now quite laborious, but yet somehow fun to be able to have new symbols mean something and be able to form words and then sentences from them. We picked up a couple of kids' books from the local bookshop to try out our reading. I read 1 or 2 sentences of Goldilocks and the Three Bears before I realized I wasn't quite there yet. Back to "This is a book." "I like mangoes." (1 more month til Mango season!!!)

I've also spent time getting myself updated again on infectious diseases. I've been making a few house calls here and there. I have already seen Leishmaniasis, Hepatitis, Typhoid, and a questionable Malaria. A difference here is that everybody keeps their medical record. So when I go visit someone, I ask for their record and read through all the lab reports and doctor scribbles to see what is going on. So far it seems like everyone's treatment has been appropriate. For most people they have no idea what is going on with them and either the doctor didn't tell them, or they didn't understand. Sadly though too, sometimes the "doctor" they go see at a local clinic may not even be a doctor. Just someone posing as one to make money. I always ask to see all their medication bottles to see what they are really taking. Hoping that what the bottle says is really what is inside. Tomorrow we will hopefully go to the hospital to inquire about a worker of ours who is in with liver problems. It's nice to have the freedom without HIPPA here. I anticipate being able to look at his medical record and letting him know what actually is going on.

Year of the Turquoise

2008-03-19T18:23:00.004+05:00

Coming here I have hung up most of my Western clothes to fit in with the local women. The local dress here is called a salwar kamis. This is a 3 piece suit, which includes baggy pants (salwar), long top (kamis) and for the ladies a scarf.

Its a rather enjoyable process to purchase them. You go to a cloth shop with all sorts of colors, fabrics, and prints of cloth. After buying, you take it to your tailor (you find the one you like and he keeps your measurements for the next time) and pick out the design you want (i.e. neck style, length of sleeves, etc). Right now, I'm paying about $7 for one.

I have travelled to and fro here over the last few years so I had already gathered a few in my collection. I decided this year I would go with a turquoise theme.

Culture Stress!!! (by Joe)

2008-03-19T18:16:00.007+05:00

In my first month of life here on the other side of the world the source of my culture stress has been one of the most western institutions you can find, a bank. Both of the banks I have dealt with are western owned, but that does not mean they actually operate like they do back home. In just 5 weeks a total of 5 checks I have sent to various people have been denied, the reason being that the signatures did not match what the bank had in their computer records. When was the last time you had someone deny your credit card purchase or check because of a faulty signature? It would actually be encouraging to have this happen every
now and then back home.

Here on the other side, your signature must be exactly the same each and every time you sign your name. On top of that every check must have anofficial stamp from your organization. Where do you get such official stamps? A banker once told my friend living here that he simply needed to go to the market and create one himself. After signing perfectly and stamping with your official stamp you can be almost sure that you are ready to send the check, and that the recipient will be able to get their money.

This banking stress, or rather minor nuisance, has of course led to disproportionate anger. The colonial impulses, which I thought I was free from, quickly kick in and lead to a lot of nasty faces and demeaning thoughts/words. The good news is that life is the same on this side of the world, the fight for faith and patience is the same, just played out in a new context with slightly different twists (Heb 6:12).

Holidays

2008-03-16T22:07:00.002+05:00

This week marks two holidays that will be celebrated in Pakistan, The Prophet's Birthday and Pakistan Day. The former is of course celebrating the birth of the prophet Muhammad, and the latter I have yet to really understand. Hopefully that will become clearer as the week proceeds. The interesting thing about these two holidays falling so close together is the reminder it presents that Pakistan is truly an Islamic Republic. Indeed, the word "Pakistan" itself means the land of the pure. It was founded by Mohammed Ali Jinnah and the Muslim league with the understanding that it would be an Islamic state, set apart for the Muslims of South Asia. Today Pakistan is the second (or third) largest Muslim nation in the world, and though it is a nation of amazing diversity, Islam is a common thread uniting 97% of all the 160 million people that call this land their home. Islam permeates every area of life, from the flight attendants greeting on domestic flights to the official constitution and laws of the land.

We are thankful to be guests and strangers in this land. Though it is a Islamic nation the overwhelming majority of people we meet are more than happy to have us as guests in their land. It is refreshing in a strange way to be in country where people are not ashamed of their faith and it permeates every level of society. In the West religion is something you keep to yourself, but here faith is openly expressed. This of course makes it easier for us to also be open about our own faith and convictions in ways that are considered awkward or offensive back home.

Pakistan raspberry

2008-03-16T21:56:00.003+05:00

Many new fruits and vegetables to try out here. We came across this one which I still can't figure out what it is. Let me know if you know. It tastes like a cross between a tomato and kiwi. They call it a raspberry.

New to this!

2008-03-16T15:27:00.003+05:00

We have entered into the blogosphere and thereby also the world of deep thoughts and ponderings. Actually, the point of this blog is simply to share the things we find fascinating, hilarious, maddening, and amazing about living on the other side of the world. The two of us love meeting people from other cultures, going to strange places and striving to live out our faith in Christ as strangers in this strange world (Heb 11:13). This blog is our platform for sharing our experiences and what we come across. Everything is from, through, and to God, so we hope you find Him in our posts (Rom 11:36).